I Shall Believe
by softballweirdo
Summary: NALEY - When Haley's mom dies, she has to learn how to believe again, though the only person who can make her believe again is teh same person who accidentally crashed into her mother's car--killing her mom. I suck at summaries, please read! Thanks!
1. Default Chapter

1I Shall Believe

AU NALEY

Chapter 1

summary: haley tries coping with her mom's death, but that's not working as she falls apart. Only one that she meets can truly reach her heart. ;). Wonder who that's gonna be.

hope you guys like and criticism as well as praise and then just comments are always GREATLY appreciated! Thank you for reading this. (This is my second fic about Haley's mom dying. I don't know what it is... it just kinda happened. :D anyways.)

"Hales?" Bram asked as he walked into the quiet, dark kitchen, rubbing his sleepy eyes, "what are you doing up so early?" he asked.

I hurriedly wiped the tears away from my face–hoping he hadn't noticed– and shrugged, "I couldn't sleep."

my attempt failing, he noticed the tears. A worried expression cascaded the features of his face as he took a seat beside me, "Hales... babe. What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I shook my head, "no, I'm just having a really rough time with all this right now."

"Haley, is this about your mom?"

I nodded my head, "and us, my dad, my brothers, _us_..." my sentence trailed off.

"What about us?" he asked, lifting his head up and staring at me.

"We're falling apart, Bram. My family absolutely can't stand me because of the choices I've made and then Mom died and..." I bit my lip, tears streaming down my face, "and I don't know if I can keep on doing this. I can't keep on being with you if I'm hurting my family in the process, and I can't keep hurting you when I want to be with my family. One thing has to take top priority at this time and I hate choosing between you and my family, Bram. I love you so much, baby, but I don't know if I can take this estrangement anymore."

"Hales," he was instantly out of the chair and by my side. He kneeled down and looked into my eyes, "I don't want you to have to decide, either. Why can't you do both? I don't want you to be on the outs with yours family because of me. I'm not worth all of it," he laughed lightly, hoping to lighten the talk, but it didn't help.

"It's not because of you, Bram."

He shook his head, "you know it is. Your dad hates me because of my previous criminal record, your brothers hate me because your always with me _and _my reputation, and your mom–the only one who was okay with this–barely–just died in a terrible accident."

"What do you want me to say?" I cried. "Do you want me to comfort you in some way? Because I really can't do that right now, baby. They don't exactly hate you, but they've never been fond of you. And with the funeral being tomorrow... well... I just don't think we should go together."

"What the fuck does that mean, Haley? I have been nothing but there for you this whole time. When you lost everything, you had me. When you heard the news, I was there to keep you from falling apart. When you visited the funeral home, I was the shoulder you cried on. When you had so much on your heart, I _listened _to you. Doesn't that count for _anything_?"

"I can't deal with this right now," I cried, tearing myself away from him and stumbling out of the chair towards the door.

"Haley, what is _with _you? I know all of this stuff with your mom and family is hard, but what is really up?"

"No-nothing," I cried, grabbing my coat and staggering outside into the cold winter night in North Carolina. My knees buckled and I fell onto the porch swing, laying out and sobbing. I could hear the rough tide as it threw itself onto the rocks and shore over and over again.

The same song played in my head. The same song that my mother had burned into my heart and mind since I was five years old. The same song that my mother played over and over again when she had a bad day. The same song that I heard for a solid year of my life while she was getting a divorce from my dead-beat father–a.k.a: sperm donor–before she married the man I now call 'Dad' a year later. The same song that I cry every time I hear. The same song that they were going to be playing at her funeral tomorrow morning I had especially requested. The same song that I couldn't forget but longed so much to forget because of the horrible memories behind it. The same song that made me see my mother's face in my mind and smell her clean scent and remember what it felt like when she kissed me on the forehead and called me 'Baby Girl.' It was the same song that was making endless tears come to my eyes now.

_Come to me now_

_and lay your hands over me_

_even if it's a lie _

_say it'll be alright_

_and I shall believe_

_I'm broken in two_

_I know your on to me_

_that I only come home_

_when I'm so all alone_

_but I do believe_

I closed my eyes, not fighting the tears anymore, but letting them fall down my already-soaked face. When I caught a gentle breeze blowing in, I smiled to myself. Mom loved the breeze. We would lay at night and stare up at the stars when she would have a horrible day. She said it made all the crazy things in life blow away with it. And that–just as soon as it had come–the bad things, like the breeze, would blow over. At least, that was her great theory.

_That not everything is gonna be the way _

_you think it outta be_

_seems like every time I try to make it right _

_it all comes down on me_

_please say honestly you won't give up on me_

_and I shall believe_

_I shall believe _

My mother's life was written, practically, in this song. This song was her life. I remember the time when she met the wonderful man I call 'Dad.' she was working at a small diner in South Carolina, and she–like me–loved Sheryl Crow to death. Anyways, she had been bidding all night on the internet–and some that morning–to get tickets to her concert, but there were none to be found. Anyways, when Mom was closing up and Dad was finishing up his last cup of coffee listening to my mother gush about how great Sheryl Crow was and how she hated missing her concert and how she thought it was awesome–Sheryl Crow actually came into the café! To my mother's shock and amazement, she served her one cup for every song she played them.

She bought one cup. And, in return, Sheryl played one song. Is it really that hard to guess which one? Anyways, my dad and my mom sat there–holding hands–as she sang to them. My mother, of course, had added all of the details, too: how Sheryl had looked, smelled, felt when her hand accidentally brushed Sheryl's while handing her the coffee, how she had sung the song, how she had got lost in Dad's eyes while listening to the song, how she could see her future in his eyes, how his hand felt as he held hers... she didn't leave out one detail. It had been the happiest day of her life–other than her children's births.

_Open the door_

_and show me your face tonight_

_I know it's true_

_no one heals me like you _

_and you hold the key_

_never again_

_would I turn away from you_

_I'm so heavy tonight_

_but your love is alright_

_and I do believe_

This had also been the song that had played at her wedding. While she was walking into the church in her beautiful Ivory Chiffon gown that clung delicately to her petite frame and made her look even more gorgeous, instead of the usual Bridal March, this song played. It had brought tears to my eyes and when I looked over at my brothers–Holden and Hayden–I could see their eyes glazing over as well. And when I looked over at Drew–with his slender body, geek-like glasses, and radiant, glowing smile–I knew he was right for my mom. Unlike Charlie–my sperm donor–Drew related more to my mom. Charlie was a bad ass during high school when he knocked mom up with Hayden and then a month after she delivered, she got pregnant with Holden. They got married after that and then 2 years later, had me. Haley. Haley Elizabeth James. Mom said that 'Elizabeth' was the name of very successful women and that I was going to be a successful woman when I grew up. I was going to finish high school–unlike her–go to college–unlike her–marry a wonderful man the first go-round–unlike her–and then live happy ever after–unlike her. Drew was a complete nerd down to the core. He had invented a marketing software computer thing and something else having to do with computers and he was way-wealthy, but that wasn't the point. He was good for us. And not only was he the thing Mom needed most–she loved him to pieces and was mad in love with him.

_That not everything is gonna be the way _

_you think it outta be_

_seems like every time I try to make it right _

_it all comes down on me_

_please say honestly you won't give up on me_

_and I shall believe_

_I shall believe_

I wish I had some one that believed in me like Mom had. I was a junior in high school and had a terrible boyfriend who was pushed drugs as a living. Now I was living with him since my mom died. Mom had called him another Charlie, which killed me, but I loved Bram. I actually thought I did, anyway, but as I lay, swinging gently back and forth as the breeze was hitting me, I doubted it. I loved how his kisses made me feel and how he made me feel special, but I didn't really love him. We didn't talk and he was super jealous. All the males in my family hated him. Mostly for his criminal record–he spent a couple years in juvenile hall for drugs–and then for his reputation–he was a bad guy, we won't go into much detail. Then there was the whole drug thing that they weren't too thrilled about. And, yeah, he still did drugs, but you can only plead and beg for th people you love to stop so long when it isn't working.

I wanted to so badly, but I just couldn't... I couldn't believe. My mom had been so strong, but I was just a wimp. I didn't believe that it would all be alright. I didn't believe at all... it was all falling apart...

_And I shall believe_


	2. The FuneralHate

1Thank you guys for all the updates! I appreciate them all. And, by the way, they are... um... let's see. Their juniors. I think I might say that later in the story, I'm not really sure, but good question. I think they're probably about 17... how about that:D. THANKS YOU GUYS! KEEP EM COMIN!

Chapter 2 - "The Funeral/Hate"

I sat in the front pew next to my dad and brothers. I couldn't pay attention as he droned on about how great of a woman my mother was. My eyes kept drifting over towards her closed casket. I shuddered at the thought of her beaten body inside of it. How, when I saw it on the cold, silver table I hadn't believed it was my mother. My best friend was lying in front of me–caked blood, bruises, and cuts all over her body–as she lay there quietly, her eyes closed. The woman I knew and loved would have threw open her eyes and jumped into my hands, making a joke about something that we both would be on the floor laughing about. No, I didn't know this woman.

I shuddered and looked quickly away–catching the eyes of Bram who was standing in the back of the church. I couldn't look at him right now, so I quickly turned away. Holden tapped me, giving me a harsh look and nodding towards the preacher. I sighed quietly to myself and obediently looked up at the preacher. "God called Sarah to Heaven, and she is up there right now... most likely telling the angels how beautiful they look," there was a gentle laugh that radiated through the congregation, "because that was the kind of wonderful, young woman that Sarah Wilson was. Though in her wake, she left a brilliant, loving, caring husband, Drew, two sons, Hayden and Holden James, and finally one daughter, Haley James. Sarah once confessed to me that her best friend was her daughter, Haley. Haley, she claimed, was her 'radiant, young, beautiful, caring, loving, carefree angel that God had sent her to help her through the rough years.'

My throat caught and tears brimmed in my eyes. Drew took my hand and squeezed it, giving me a smile.

"And I know that right now, Sarah is shining down on this whole congregation and smiling. And Haley, your mother is probably up in Heaven now singing this song..." his voice trailed off as his eyes shot to the left side of the church.

Everybody's gaze turned to see what he was looking at. It was a stereo. It crackled and popped at first, but then the soft sound began to fill the packed church.

Tears welled in my eyes, threatening to spill, as I looked through the window and up into the sky. The first lines of the song came on

_Come to me now_

_and lay your hands over me_

_even if it's a lie _

_say it'll be alright_

_and I shall believe_

I couldn't avoid to anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut as the dam broke and the tears I had been holding back the entire service fell. Drew gently slid his arm around my shoulder and drew me closer. "She can't be gone," I sobbed. "It's not fair. She was finally getting her _life _back together. Why did this happen?" I took a few deep, rapid breaths, trying not to hyperventilate as the song continued to play.

"I'm so sorry, Haley," Drew broke down and started crying with me, his chest heaving up and down with each ragged breath he took. I looked up to see Holden and Hayden both staring at me, tears in their eyes. I slowly let go of Drew as I hugged Holden first.

"I love you so much, bro," I whispered in his ear. He just nodded, the tears too much to even utter a word, "and moved love you, too. So much. She loved you so much. You were a pain, but she never stopped kicking you in the ass and then loving you more," I laughed. I pulled back and looked at him. His eyes were squeezed shut as he nodded.

I caught my breath and then moved over to Hayden. He was trying to not cry, but it wasn't working. His eyes were brimming with tears, "I love you, Hay. You were the oldest, the wisest, the most perfect, the coolest... everything I'm not," I laughed, "and Mommy loved you for that. Every single moment of every single day. She never stopped, and she is in Heaven loving you right now."

"I know, Hales," he nodded, the tears slowly trickling down his face. "I know."

I smiled, biting my lip, as the last of the tears slowly found their way down my face and onto my dress. I took a step back, looking at the three of them, sitting there crying, and then I turned around to face what was left of my mother. I slowly made my way up towards the casket–feeling every single eye in the church on me. I held out a shaky, nervous hand as I touched the hard polished wood. "I love you so much, Mom," I said quietly. I lifted the shaky hand up to my lips and then brought it down again. "I love you," I said. I lifted my face down and planted a soft kiss on the hard, shiny wood.

_And I shall believe_

The song came to a close as the soft chords ended and then the church was silent–except for the terrible sobs coming from different mourners. My mom's mother–Grams--couldn't help herself from crying out for her lost daughter. My mom's dad–Pops–was holding her tightly in his strong, old hands as they rocked together. Hayden's fiancé , Megan, was caressing his hair as she leaned in and was whispering things to him. Holden's girlfriend, Cara Leigh, was holding him in her arms and crying with him. I looked up at Bram. His eyes looked glazed, cold and hard. He was high. I sighed to myself, looking down. I couldn't help but feel alone and empty. Without anyone in my life to hold me in these times.

"Haley," somebody said softly from behind me, laying a massive, strong hand on my back, "let's go now, baby."

I nodded, looking up at Drew, "okay, Dad," I nodded again as he led me down the aisle. It was a long aisle. _Really _long. And there were tons of people. _Tons _of them. It made my heart swell that people liked my mother so well. The woman whose life had maliciously been ripped from her because of a boy who had been too careless to stop at a large, red stop sign. The boy had been lucky. Terribly, terribly lucky. He had lived. Not only had he lived, but he had gotten off, too, and Dad didn't press charges. I mean, you would have thought manslaughter of the first degree, right? No. Nothing.

I hated him for that. For living, I hated the boy who didn't die. I hated him for killing my mother, mostly, but I hated him for living while she was about to be buried six feet under. She was a beautiful, caring, kind, understanding, loving mother of three and a wife of the most wonderful man I knew. She _was_. That's Past tense. He had made the 'I love my Mom' into 'I loved my mom.' I hated him. And if I ever see him in my life, I will not hesitate to kill him. I want to take away the same life that took my mother's. I hate him.

I hated Nathan Scott.


	3. Napoleon Dynamite vs Julius Caesar

1Sorry it took me forever to update one stupid chapter. Thank you guys for all your comments and thanks for reading! Here ya go!

Chapter 3 - "Julius Caesar vs. Napoleon Dynamite"

Monday. It was a Monday and it was time for school, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. It had been two days since we buried my mother. Two days of seclusion I had spent locked in my room, the attempts of my brothers and father had not succeeded into opening the barricade I had up against my room... and my heart. Bram had stopped by to talk to me first–unsuccessfully–and then the second time he brought my stuff by.

There was a knock on my door, in which I responded with my usual silence. "Haley, it's me," Drew said in a soft voice. "It's Dad. I just want to talk to you for a second... I'm not going to come in there trying to help you cope or reminisce with you. I'm here to talk to you about maybe moving."

My sleepy eyes shot up towards the door as his words jolted me awake, "what are you talking about?" I asked, my voice crackling and rusty.

"Well, I was thinking about moving us–well, me and you–to Tree Hill, North Carolina. I grew up there when I was a boy and it was just small and quaint. Inconspicuous. I think that's really what we need right now. What do ya say, kiddo?"

I swung my legs out of the bed and threw the covers back, getting up and walking to the door. I lifted my hand to unlock the door and waited for Drew to open it. "We're moving?" I asked.

"I don't know... what do you think?"

I shrugged, "it would be better than having to see the same exact people everyday, you know. I mean, I don't want people to take pity on me."

he nodded his head, "then I think Tree Hill is just what we need."

I nodded, "I guess so."

"You'll really like it there, Haley. I mean, I spent five years of my life there. It hasn't changed any, either, as far as I've heard, and it would be just the place to... recover from all of this."

"Recover..." I sighed. It wasn't like it had been me in some accident and I'd gotten hurt and I could just fix my wounds. I couldn't heal them right up. My mom had died. I hadn't broken an arm.

"Well... we can learn to live," he sighed, drained. It was the first time I had ever noticed age marks on Drew's face. His eyes were bloodshot and droopy, he had huge circles under his eyes, the creases in his face were now visible... it looked like he was falling apart.

"If this will make you happy, then I will go. If your just doing it for me, then I'm staying put."

He just nodded at me, "I'm doing this for the both of us, Hales. I want us to learn to smile again. To laugh again. To _love _again."

"Then I'll do it."

he smiled weakly and moved forward, hugging me. His strong arms grasped my neck as I felt wet tears on my shoulder, "we can do this together, Haley. Your mom would have wanted us to try and be happy again."

I pulled away, "I know she would have wanted that, but it just seems so wrong. Moving away to try and get over her."

"No, Haley, no. we're not moving away to try and get over her, we're moving away to try and cope with her not being with us anymore. There is no way we're ever going to forget about her. No, we're just simply trying to get past the dark times and embrace the new ones."

"I don't know if I can embrace the new ones."

"You are the strongest, bravest young woman I know of, Haley Elizabeth James. You can do this. You have the soul of your mother inside of you," he smiled. "I know deep down in my heart that you can do this. You can believe again..." his sentence trailed off as he just looked at me for a minute or so, "now get packed," he snapped out of his trance-like state. "We have a long ride ahead of us."

"Hales, wake up," somebody shook me as I awoke with a start.

"Wha.." I said groggily, looking around. All I could see were small lights here and there. Some businesses, but mostly it was all dark and empty.

"We're here," Drew said, smiling. He reached over and tousled my hair, "you awake sleepy head?"

I rolled my eyes, "no."

"Well, get up. You can go to sleep in the hotel room. First we're going to stop by a café and get something to eat."

"Dude, it's like 10 at night! Nothing is going to be ope..." my voice trailed off as I saw the lights to a café still on. Karen's Café, to be exact.

"You were saying," Drew raised his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and unbuckled my seatbelt. Drew parked and we both got out and walked into the cute, little café. It was decorated normally, though it seemed so comely and wholesome.

"Hi, can I help you?" a black-headed woman spoke up, breaking off her conversation with a sandy blonde sitting on the bar. I followed Drew up to the bar and sat down beside him–also sitting beside the dirty blonde who smiled nicely at me.

I nodded and gave him the best smile I could muster. I probably looked like a mess, but if I did, the guy didn't notice... or both to tell me. Either way, I was glad he hadn't. "Can I have a cup of coffee and something warm... and Haley?" he asked, looking at me.

"Oh... um..." I looked around, trying to think of something to order. "A piece of pie, please, and some sweet tea."

"Sure thing," she nodded and went to fixing our food. "Just traveling by?" the woman asked, making small talk while putting a piece of pie on a purple plate and placing it on the place mate in front of me.

"We were actually thinking about moving," Drew spoke up.

"Oh really?" the woman raised her eyebrows. "Well, it's always a nice surprise when this sleepy old town gets new neighbors."

Drew laughed politely while I hung my head over the pie and played with it with my fork. I had developed a slight bitch of a headache between the time we left the car to now, "I'm Drew Wilson, by the way," he smiled, reaching out his hand.

"Karen Roe," the woman smiled graciously and shook his hand, "and this is my son, Lucas Scott."

"This is my daughter, Haley James."

"It's nice to meet the both of you," I sighed to myself, not wanting to be mean, as I gave her a polite smile and shook her soft hand.

"Hey," Lucas nodded, a pencil in his ear as he read a thick book. I glanced at the title of it: "Julius Caesar."

"A tide in the affairs of men," I nodded.

Lucas looked up at me, his forehead furrowed, "Julius Caesar?"

I nodded, smiling, "I had to read it my tenth grade year."

"We're actually reading it now and I'm a junior," he laughed.

I smiled and nodded, "Caesar is no Napoleon Dynamite, but the book is alright."

"Napoleon Dynamite?" he laughed.

"My hero," I confessed, putting my right hand up in seriousness.

Lucas just laughed, shaking his head, "you mean Julius Caesar doesn't hold a candle to Napoleon Dynamite?"

"Exactly."

"You have got to be kidding me!"

I shook my head, "certainly not."

"Your not kidding?"

I looked at him, "serious as serious gets," I laughed. "How can he _not _be every teenage guys, as well as girls, hero? He's the epiphany of what all high school kids should be."

"And your saying that every high school kid should look so doped up all the time and be so... _stupid_, for lack of better term... he's a moron! I can't believe I even watched the first 20 minutes of the movie. It was just... stupid!"

"Gosh, you freaking idiot!" I quoted him, smiling as Lucas rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe we're sitting here comparing Julius Caesar–probably the most world-known Roman man–to Napoleon Dynamite who is... _nobody_!"

"See, where as your nobody is my somebody, your somebody is my nobody."

"So your saying Julius Caesar is nobody?"

"Nobody interesting."

"Dude!"

I laughed, rolling my eyes, "I have the DVD if you want to borrow it and finish the whole thing. It gets better in the end, trust me."

"And once I get through reading this book, I will loan it to you and you can actually read it."

"Hey, I never–"

"Never what? You insinuated that you wanted me to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Why can't you read Julius Caesar?"

"I've already read the book."

"Obviously not."

"Some people can read the book and absolutely hate it."

"Some people can watch a stupid ass movie and absolutely hate it."

"Lucas!" Karen finally cut in.

He laughed, looking at me, "sorry, Mom. And, Haley, we'll continue this some other time, what do you say?"

I smiled and nodded, "I'd love to prove I'm right and your wrong. It gives me no other pleasure."

"Haley!" it was Drew's time to hiss my name this time.

"Sorry, Dad," I laughed.

"Bye. Mr. Wilson, it was nice meeting you," Lucas stuck out his hand to my dad.

"You too, Lucas, but call me Drew."

he nodded, "I will see you later, Drew.. Mom," he nodded at both of them and then looked at me, "Haley."

"See you, Lucas." I smiled and watched as he left the café, the door closing with a jingle.


	4. A New Beginning

1I hope that I can clarify this Nate/Haley location thing up for you, **treehillgirl323**. I think I explain it in this chappy, but I'll go ahead and explain further. ;). Ok. Haley lives–lived–in Charlotte, but then her mother died and so her and her dad move to Tree Hill (moving into the house comes this chap or later) and that is, coincidence? In Haley's case, yeah, in mine: definitely not! And so, well, yeah. It all happens. Which I'll get into within the next few chaps. Thank you guys so very much. You are all totally awesome. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4 - "A New Beginning"

I put the finishing touches on my make up: a little gloss. My touch of olive eye shadow accentuated my hazel eyes, the mascara brought out my lashes, the green eye liner lined my eyes perfectly, there were no splotches in my light powder, and my light pink blush gave a little color to my cheeks. "Hales, you ready?" Drew called from the kitchen.

I adjusted the olive green Abercrombie shirt and smoothed out my khaki skirt. I tousled my straight hair, giving it a little volume, and bent down to tie the shoe laces on my olive green new balances. When I straightened back up, I gave myself another lingering glance in the small bedroom mirror, and then turned towards the door.

"I'm ready," I told Drew as I picked up my ordinary, black back pack.

Drew smiled, "you look nice."

"Thank you," I smiled politely.

"So... I guess I'm going house shopping while you go to school, then, like we planned," he said, grabbing up his black messenger bag and slinging it over his shoulders.

"Just like we planned," I nodded.

"Ok, so let's go," he stepped forward and slid his arm around my shoulders, leading me out the door and into the truck.

I walked into the empty halls of Tree Hill High School as I made my way to the office. Once there, I took a deep breath–not knowing what to expect from this new school. I mean, I had never transferred anymore before–and then finally knocked on the door twice.

"Come in," a womanly voice called from the inside. With an unsteady hand, I opened the door and tried to walk in casually. Like my insides didn't feel like noodles or my brain didn't feel like goo or my legs didn't feel like jelly. Which I totally was feeling. All of those things. "Well, hello," she smiled. "You must be Haley James. We've been expecting you, Miss James. Principal Crowder will be with you shortly."

"Thank you," I said in a shaky voice as I took the seat the woman motioned to. There was a loud rap on the door, thinking it was the principal I went ahead and stood up. But instead of it being the principal, it was a brown headed boy about my age. He had a sloppy grin, but a comely appearance. He just looked like the kind of guy who would be your best friend. The funny guy who made you laugh, but not the class clown.

"Well, if it isn't Jake Jagelski. How are you, Mr. Jagelski?"

"I'm fine, Brenda. How are you?" he asked, smiling.

"Jake," the woman shook her head, "how many times have I told you to call me Miss McClure?"

"Too many to count, Brenda, too many to count. Anyways, I'm just here because... well, you know why I'm here," he smiled, putting up his hands.

She rolled her eyes, "next semester you will have a class first period instead of a study hall!"

"Yeah, right. You say that each and every day, but you never do anything about it. You know you like having me around."

Brenda let out a loud snort, and then picked up her Cosmo magazine again, burying her face into it. The guy laughed and turned towards me. "Hi," he smiled, coming over and taking a seat. I smiled and nodded, "I'm Jake. I guess you figured that, huh."

I laughed and nodded, "Haley."

"It's nice to meet you, Haley. So, you new around here?"

I nodded, "just got into Tree Hill last night."

Jake nodded his head, "so, what grade are you in?"

"Oh, I'm a junior."

"Yeah? So am I," he smiled.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"You wouldn't happen to know a Lucas Scott, would you?" I asked.

His eyebrows raised, "yeah, I know Luke. Hell, Luke's a good friend of mine, actually," he smiled, but then he stopped abruptly, "why?" he asked.

"Oh! No reason, I just... well, I met him last night at his mom's café and I was just wondering, you know, if you knew him, that's all. Is it... is it... should I not know him for some reason?"

"Oh, no," he shook his head, laughing, "I'm just going psycho-paranoid. His girlfriend, Brooke, was actually right behind me, but then she started talking to some cheerleaders, so I left her."

"oh," I nodded.

"So do you feel the need to say that every sentence?" he asked.

I whirled to face him, oblivious to what he was talking about, "what?"

"The word 'oh.'"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. 'Oh.'"

"Oh, no. I mean no," I laughed. "I just... well, I don't know. I've never really been an oh-y person. I don't know why I'm saying it so often."

"Don't worry about it," Jake winked.

"Tha–"

"Haley James?" I looked up to see the principal–a tall man of about 6'2 with gray hair, and a strict look–who I hadn't heard even come in the room.

"Yes, sir," I nodded my head, standing up. "I'm so very sorry, I didn't hear you enter. I was just talking to Jake, here, who was telling me a little about the school."

"No harm. No foul," he chuckled. "There is no need in being afraid. I've perfected this look to use on kids like Mr. Jagelski, not innocent ones like yourself, Miss James." I laughed, mentally kicking myself for being so obvious. "Now, your father and I have already done the necessary paperwork and you are ready to start your classes. I only need you to come with me briefly where as I can tell you a little about Tree Hill High School's policy and then you will be able to go one-on-one with the counselor to get your schedule arranged."

I groaned a little too loudly than I meant to, and instantly blushed, "I didn't..."

"No need to apologize," he smiled, "this can be very boring, I agree, but it will be over as soon as it started."

I nodded my head, biting my lip. It was my mom's theory in a nutshell, which sent a pang of sorrow for her not seeing me enter into a new high school, "I hope so."

"Well, that about sums it up," the guidance counselor, Mrs. Dewy, smiled. "Your schedule is printing now," she smiled. I tried hard not to look up and see the two nonexistent front teeth and the only two bottom teeth. She had a messed up grill, I had to admit, but she was a sweet lady.

She brought out the piece of paper and gave it to me, smiling. I looked at the paper as an excuse not to look up and smile back. My schedule seemed hectic, but I was pretty sure I could handle it all.

1st period Accounting

2nd period French 2

3rd period English 3

4th period Trigonometry

B LUNCH

5th period Human Anatomy and Physiology

6th period North Carolina Studies

7th period Art

I smiled and nodded at the woman gratefully, turning towards the door and walking outside into the now-filled hallways. The bell had rung less than half a minute earlier, signaling the end of first period, and teenagers were crowding the halls. Meaningless, ostentatious conversations that were meant to grab the attention of a hot guy. Normal high school things. Arguments, basketball games, parties... you name it, we talked about it.

"Haley?" I turned around to face Lucas with his arm around a pretty brunette.

"Hey Lucas," I smiled, grateful I knew somebody. I was feeling the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I smiled at the brunette who just gave me a curious look.

"Nice seeing you here," he laughed, "so, what do you have next?"

"Oh... uh... let's see," I looked down at my schedule and found second period, "French 2," I smiled.

Lucas's expression dropped, "French? Your taking _French_?"

I laughed, nodding, "is something wrong with that?"

"When are you ever going to go to France?"

I shrugged, "I might, but that isn't even the point. I want to widen my knowledge of foreign countries and taking a foreign language helps me greatly appreciate the French customs."

"Like French kissing," the girl asked, her eyebrows nodding.

Lucas and I both laughed, "Haley James, meet Brooke Davis, my girlfriend. Brooke, meet Haley, a girl that has the audacity to even begin to compare the world-known Julius Caesar to the MTV-infamous Napoleon Dynamite."

Brooke just had a blank expression on her face as she yawned, "well, I'm going to see you two later," she said in a bored tone as she gracefully slid out of his grasp and shimmied on down the hall.

"She... uh..."

"–cheerleader?" I laughed, nodding. "I saw the jacket, but even if I hadn't I think it would have been easy to spot."

"Yeah," he laughed, nodding, "captain, actually."

"Impressive," I nodded. Lucas just laughed, "so, this French 2 classroom... do you think you could help a girl out?"

"Sure," Lucas nodded, pointing down the hall, "it's this way."

"Thanks," I smiled and started following him down the hall.


	5. Solace

1Sorry it's been so long! I am totally sorry, but it's been completely hectic. School is almost over, though! Heck Yes! Lol. Anyways. How about two chappies, huh? Sound good? A start. ;). Thanks for reading and reviewing. You are all awesome. Keep it up.

Chapter 5 - "Solace"

The bell rang as I got up from my seat and headed out the door. I pulled out the slip of printed paper from my back pocket and scanned over it, looking for the room number to English 3. Miss Johnson, it said, English 3 in room 409. I looked up at the number of the classroom I was at right now: 110. I sighed, figuring English was in another building, as I headed towards the exit of building one.

I circled around the building and finally came to another one. Building two. I sighed as I shook my head and turned around. All I saw were two buildings, and then one to the far left. "You lost?" somebody asked. I twirled around to face a scrawny kid with a wide smile.

I laughed, unnerved, as I nodded my head, "you see, I'm a total dunce, and I have somehow gotten my genius self lost. Please tell me how to get to English 3," I said pleadingly.

"No problem," he laughed. "Your at the right building. It's the upstairs of this building. You see, levels three and four are located in building two. And in building one, levels one and two are there."

"That is so crazy," I laughed. "No wonder I got lost."

"Yeah," he nodded, "it's Tree Hill, though, everything around here is crazy."

I laughed, shaking my head, "well, thank you for redirecting me..." I paused, insinuating to him what his name was.

"Oh, it's Mouth."

"Mouth," I nodded. "I'm Haley."

"Well, I'll see you around, Haley," he said with a slight wave.

"You, too, Mouth," I smiled as I turned around and started into the building. I found the stairs and started ascending them, finally getting to the top. 400... 401... 402... 403... 404... I walked past the various classrooms, "ah ha!" I said in a triumphant voice.

I laughed, rolling my eyes at myself, and then walked in. Everybody was already seated and talking to each other, waiting for the bell to ring. In the front of a classroom, a middle-aged woman had her head down and was grading papers.

I sighed and walked over towards her, "um... excuse me. Where may I sit at?"

"What!" she screamed out, making me jump. The whole class got quiet as I blushed scarlet, wondering what I had done.

"Ma'am?" I said in a small, child-like voice.

"What did you just say?" she croaked, her voice squeaky and loud.

"I was just wondering where I needed to sit."

"No, you didn't. You asked me where you may sit _at. _What is wrong with that sentence?"

"I... uh... well..." my sentence trailed off. The last thing I could do now was think about what was wrong with my sentence.

"Scott, go ahead and tell us what she did wrong," I sighed gratefully to myself, thanking the Lord that Lucas was in this class. I turned around expecting the dirty blonde, but instead I saw a black-headed boy with an evil smirk.

"She ended the sentence with at," he smiled and winked at the teacher.

"What a surprise, Nathan. You actually got that one right."

I didn't hear what smart ass comment he said to her, because my throat had caught and I my heart had stopped as I stared at the black-headed boy. The same one I hated with a passion. He looked up at me, and then it clicked, too. I saw the cockiness in his features melt down to butter as he returned my hazel gaze with his deep, green one.

"Miss, is there something wrong?" the teacher barked, but I couldn't respond. Even if I had tried to, nothing would have come out.

I clenched my fists, feeling the anger rising inside of me and turning everything happy cold and dark. I whirled around and ran for the door, not stopping running until I was in the bathroom and throwing up in the stall.

Fresh tears were falling down my face–partly because of the throwing up bit and then partly because of the dramatic irony that fate shoved in my face. Who in a million years would have thought that relocating to an entirely different place would just happen to be the place where the boy who killed my mother lived. Nobody would!

I splashed my face with cold water, trying to get my thoughts together. I felt around in my backpack and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen, taking out three tablets and popping them with only a sip of tap water. I needed a quick fix. I sighed and looked into the mirror. I looked a mess. All of my make up had wiped off except my mascara and eye liner which were now in streaks on my face because of my tears, I had circles under my eyes from the none sleep I had gotten for the past week, and my eyes were bloodshot. I looked terrible. I was a train wreck.

I scrubbed at the tear stains on my face, successfully getting them off, and then just left the darkness under my eyes. I sighed, not wanting to fix my face, and then stepped back. I squeezed my eyes shut, said a silent prayer, and then slowly opened the door, walking outside.

And there he was. The one guy I hated more than anything. He was just standing against the wall in front of the Ladies' bathroom, his head lowered, his arms and feet crossed. I stared at him in shock, looking him up and down.

His head shot up, feeling my presence in the empty hallway. He immediately stepped up, his mouth open forming words, but I stopped him, "–please don't say anything. It would just make things worse. Listen, I don't even know you, but somehow, fate shovels shit–in the form of you–into my face and now I'm stuck with a face full of shit that I can't remove. You _killed _my mom. Why?" tears threatened to fall again as I bit my lip and opened my eyes wide, trying to avoid them.

Nathan Scott opened his eyes wide, "I never saw her car, I swear. I was late and it was beginning to get dark and I didn't see her dark car and I... I hit it," he took a step forward, but I stepped back away from him.

"You have no clue how much I'm hurting right now. And then standing here right now with you in front of me..." I shook my head, "I hate you with every fiber in my body. I want nothing more than for you to be buried 12 feet under, but that is never going to happen because you have a rich daddy. I lost my mother because you were in a hurry! You can never understand how that feels!"

"I know I can't. God, don't you think I know that," he said, his eyes filled with mixed emotions. "I can't bring your mom back, Haley. I'm sorry, but I can't. I wish so much that I could, but I can't. Sometimes I think what would have been different if I would have stopped at that stupid stop sign, if I would have taken the long way, if I would have left a minute earlier, if I would have not even gone... _if_. If only."

"What do you want me to say to that?"

"Nothing," he shook his head, "nothing. I can't say anything else, but that I'm sorry... for everything. I'm so sorry for everything that you have ever gone through and are going through now."

"Four days ago I buried my mother!" I cried out, tears falling down my face. "I watched as they put her lifeless body into the ground and then lowered her six feet under, piling cold, hard dirt on top of her. I watched that happen!"

Nathan's eyes glazed over. I let out a deep breath, shaking, "I hate you so much. I hate you for killing her. I wish _you _would have died," I said maliciously.

My knees buckled and I felt myself falling against the wall and then sliding down. I buried my head in my knees, covering my head with my arms as my chest heaved and sobs filled the quiet hallway.

I felt a two large, strong hands cover my smaller hands as he gently pried them away. I took a few ragged breaths and then looked up, my vision blurry from the tears in my eyes, as I saw Nathan on his knees in front of me, his eyes glazed over, too. "I can't bring her back, Haley, and I'm so sorry for that."

"I just wish it had been me," I cried, truthfully, for the first time. It was more than I had admitted to my brothers, my dad, or Bram. And I had admitted this to the boy who killed my mom. "I wish I had been driving that car. More than anything, I just wish it had been me. She was doing so much more with her life than I could _ever _do with mine. She was finally getting her life back together... _finally_... and now none of that matters. It's all gone. A waste."

"Are you saying her life was a waste?" I nodded my head, "no, Haley. No. Were you close to your mother?"

I nodded, confused, but answered, "we were best friends."

"Alright, then. If you two were best friends, then I know that she changed your life in some way. In some huge, phenomenal way, she forever left a mark on your heart that you won't ever be able to forget. Now are you telling me that _that _was a _waste_? Are you telling me that she never taught you _anything_... never showed you what love felt like..."

"She did all of that," I said in a weak voice.

"Then her death was not a waste."

I looked up and stared into his eyes, "you don't know me... you didn't know her."

"Am I right?"

I inhaled sharply, "yes."

"Then does it matter if I really know you or not?"

"She was the strongest person I knew," I said, biting my lip.

"Your right, I didn't know your mother, Haley, but if I know of her, the way you illustrate her... well, then I know she's up there right now," he pointed towards the sky, "and looking down on you, looking after you... your very own angel."

I smiled, nodding, "my angel," I repeated.

Nathan smiled, his hands finding mine, as he held them, "you can do this."

"What if I don't believe?"

"You will," he said assuredly. I sighed, looking into his eyes again. I found solace in his eyes. I had poured out my heart to him, and, in return, I felt like he had done the same. I had found solace in the same person who had killed my best friend... my mother. The same person that I had looked to for comfort and solace whenever I had needed it before... who in a million years would have thought that the only two people I had ever found solace were my mother and the person who killed my mother. Who would have thought...


	6. Ruined Lives

1Chapter 6 - "Ruined Lives"

"Haley?" I turned around to face Lucas this time.

I put on a fake, made up smile, "hi, Lucas."

but his face didn't look reassured. It actually looked worried. And this guy had only known me a day... less than a day, actually, and the time he'd spent with me was probably only a couple of hours, "I heard that you fled from English. Nate... do you know him?"

"Not really," I played it off, "I just... well... there was... my stomach was really butterfly-y around being new and all. it happens."

"Is that the real reason?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes. Of course..."

"Well, I heard that Nathan got up and followed you out of the classroom. Now–my being Nathan Scott's half brother and all, I would know–any other new girl that graced the face of our small, little campus–no matter how cute she was–would not have been given the time of _day_, and he certainly wouldn't _run _after them. Nathan Scott doesn't _run _after new girls. Hell, he doesn't run after girls period."

I shrugged, "he just went to use the bathroom or something. I didn't see him while I went to the bathroom."

"Ok, now I've only known you about a day, but I can so call your bullshit"

I let out a deep breath, watching the people as they passed us while looking curiously, wondering what Lucas Scott was doing talking to the new girl, "it's just really complicated and that's all I really want to say abou–"

"Hey, Luke, what's up, man?" a boy, about my height, with relatively long–compared to Lucas's–hair.

"Tim, hey," Lucas hit his fist.

"We gotta talk man. It's about Nate."

"Seems like he's the topic of the day. Sure, I'll talk to you later," he nodded and Tim walked away.

"Look, I–"

we were interrupted again, this time by Nathan himself, "Lucas," he cleared his throat, eyes focused on Lucas, "we really need to talk, man," he said, his face drained.

I tucked a strand of hair and looked away, not wanting to act as if I was hanging on every word Nathan told Lucas... even though I was, "what?" Lucas asked in a low voice.

"Man, we just gotta talk. Now. Let's skip and take a drive."

"Oh..." Lucas's sentence trailed off, "Haley," he turned towards me.

I looked up at Lucas, trying not to let my gaze falter from him to Nathan, even though my eyes were acting like they were having a mind of their own, "yeah?"

"We'll talk later, ok? At the café, maybe? Tonight. Meet me tonight, 7:00, at the café."

"Ok," I nodded. "I'll see you there," and there it was. My gaze shifted and I was staring into Nathan's deep, blue eyes. We held the gaze until I finally tore it apart. What was I doing? I felt my warm, hazel eyes fill with hate and turn cold.

I hated this guy. I had been too vulnerable this morning, that's why I had sunk to the level of indecency as I found comfort in my mother's killer, but who did that? Who went to their mother's killer for comfort? Horrible people like me. I answered my own question. I mentally kicked myself as I started down the hall and towards my next class.

I opened the door to the café, the same little jingle sounding, as Karen and Lucas looked up from the bar. They both gave me the identical, warm smile as I walked over towards them, "hi, Haley," Karen smiled.

"Hey, Karen. It's nice to see you again."

"You, too, Haley. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"Um... a sweet tea and some pie, please," I smiled.

"Coming right up," Karen laughed, moving around to fix the same thing I'd ordered the previous night.

"So, how are things going, Lucas?" I smiled, avoiding his gaze.

"I know, Haley."

I cleared my throat, "what?" I asked stupidly. I had a feeling I knew what he was about to say.

"Please don't play the stupid role with me. Brooke plays that out," he shot back. "I know I don't know you all that much, but... Can we go somewhere and talk."

I rubbed my temples, I hesitated and then looked at Lucas, "we came here to try and get away from everybody that knew about it. I thought we did. I thought we could just start over in this little, hick town... and then I saw Nathan. Who, in a million billion trillion years, would have thought I would have chose the same small, quaint town where the same person had killed my mother lived. I guess it's one of those cases where irony comes kicking you in the ass, huh."

Karen set the saucer down with the piece of delicious-looking cherry pie, as well as the full glass of cold, sweet tea that was making my mouth water looking at it. "Karen, I'm really sorry about thi–"

"Hold the pie, Mom, I'm gonna show Haley around town first. Is that ok?"

"Fine," she smiled nicely, looking at the both of us, trying to figure out what was going on, but Lucas wasn't saying anymore, and I wasn't going to, either.

"Come on," he muttered as he started towards the door.

I looked hesitantly at Karen, not meaning to be so harsh and just leave her with only that crap explanation and a full piece of pie and glass of tea. I grabbed the money out of my pocket, grabbing a five dollar bill and holding it out for her, but Karen shook her head, "I'll eat it," she smiled, laughing, "go on. Go "tour Tree Hill,"

I smiled gratefully and ran out the door to catch up with Lucas who was already starting to walk. "Hey," I called, running towards him, finally catching up. "Hey."

"You know, last year my uncle, Keith, and I were driving to the airport to go pick up my mom–she'd gone to Italy for this cooking course–and, anyways, Keith was turned, talking to me, and he didn't see the car that was barreling through the green light until after the headlights were less than a foot away from the passenger door. The car hit us on the passenger side, which happened to be my side, and it sent both cars flying across the pavement... I was pretty messed up. So was Keith... but I had to have surgery and then afterwards, I was in a coma for a couple days. Now, I know that doesn't even _compare _to your mom getting killed, but... after my accident, my mom never forgave Keith. They were just starting to get their relationship started–the one my uncle had been wanting to have with my mom since high school–but it never happened. My mom couldn't get past blaming Keith for almost killing me, and Keith sold his auto shop to pay for my medical bills, then he finally left in defeat. It ruined his life."

"Wow, that soliloquy was really touching," I said sarcastically. "I'm loving this whole analogy between my life and yours, but what does this have to do with anything?"

"The point is... Nathan never, ever meant to run that stop sign. He never meant to kill your mother, and... he has a whole life ahead of him, Haley. Don't suppress that hate for him in your heart, because that is just going to eat away at him–and you–more. And now, having to see you _everyday_, he is going to be reminded of that _every day_. Please... don't do the same thing my mom did to Keith."

"Oh, so you just want me to let this go because your worried I'll ruin Nathan's life? Do you realize what your saying, Lucas? He killed one of the only people who mattered in my life."

"I know that, Haley. And he feels awful. I've never seen him so bad before."

"I don't think that I can just go up to him and let it all be alright, Lucas."

"I'm not asking you to let it be alright. I'm asking you to just... not suppress your hate."

"So you want me to let out my hate? Maybe snap and start running at him with a bat screaming bloody murder or something, because I really wish–"

"No... I want you to _stop hating him_."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that," I said, shaking my head, "you don't know anything about it, Lucas, and I would like it if you would mind your own fucking business from now on."

Lucas threw up his hands, backing a step away, "I'm sorry. All I'm saying is that... I've seen somebody get hurt like that once. I don't want Nathan to throw everything away for one mistake he made."

"He _killed _somebody! I hardly classify that as a mistake. A mistake is if you mark an incorrect answer on a paper or misspell a word. No, he _killed my mother_."

"It was an _accident_, Haley."

"It was my _mother_, Lucas. How many more times do I have to explain this to you?" I paused as an uneasy silence fell over us, "you know what, I'm not fighting with you anymore," I said in a weak voice, defeated. "You act exactly like Bram," I muttered more to myself than Lucas.

"Who?" he asked, his eyes a-blaze.

"Nobody," I shook my head, "forget it, Lucas."

"Nathan is looking at a full ride to NC State. He's only a junior and scouts from all over are interested. He looks like a future NBA draft. Please... please, Haley, don't screw that up for him."

I bit my lip, shaking my head with rage. Not only did I hate his brother, but I hated Lucas now, too, "and I'm sure my life is just going to be a bowl of cherries. Don't worry, Lucas, I'm not going to _ruin his life_," and with that, I turned around and stormed off in the direction of Drew's Ford truck, driving madly back to the hotel.


	7. Thank You

1Thanks for all the comments you guys! Ya'll are so awesome! Keep it up! Thanks!

Chapter 7 - "Thank You"

I walked into the small, two bedroom room we'd gotten. I threw the keys onto the counter and rubbed my neck, trying to ease some of the strain. It wasn't working. "Hales?" Drew called.

"Yeah?" I asked, stopping in my tracks.

"Come in the kitchen for a sec, huh."

I groaned, but obediently walked into the small kitchen where Drew was making a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. "Sir?"

"I have great news," he winked. I tried to brighten up, but I couldn't. I was so worn out, all I wanted to do was take a warm bath and then fall into the bed. "I found us a house," he beamed.

"That's great," I said, sans-emotion.

His smiled faded, "is something wrong?"

I shook my head, barely getting out a weak smile, "long day."

he nodded his head, "how was your day?"

"About this house..." I laughed.

"Oh! Yes, yes," he nodded, "well, it's in a neighborhood quite like the one we lived in in Charlotte. It's a very nice neighborhood, and the house is a relatively large two story."

"Two story?"

he nodded, "I figured we needed room. After Hayden marries Megan, they were planning on moving in and staying until after he gets through with his last year of college. Just until they can find themselves a place, of course, and he's going to be working in the nearby hospital. I also found a job in the same town the hospital is. It's about 30 miles away. Anyways..."

"That sounds great," I nodded.

"Yeah, you think so?" I nodded again. "We're going to move in tomorrow. As soon as possible... what I'd hoped for. Anyways, what do you think?"

"Sounds great."

"Second time you've said that, Hales. Is there something up or are you just tired?"

"Just tired," I smiled.

"Then go on," he carelessly threw his hand towards the door, signaling to get out, "we'll talk tomorrow morning."

"Thanks. I'm just gonna take a bath and then crash. It has been pretty hectic today, after all."

"Yes," he nodded, "I know."

I smiled and turned to walk out the door, "Hales?" Drew's voice stopped me.

"Sir?" I asked, not turning around.

"Hales, do you think–in time, mind you... that... that... well..." he stammered.

"What?" I asked, turning around to face him.

"Do you think that–in _time_, ok–that you might ever grow to like this place? To be happy again? Because I want you to, Hales, I really, _really _do. Your mother would have wanted that, too. She had such a vibrant spirit, and whenever someone was unhappy she would always do her best to cheer them up," he smiled, recalling my mom.

I sighed, looking up at the ceiling, "I don't know, Dad. To be honest... I just... I just don't know."

The buzzer on my alarm clock sounded like a freight train. I screamed, trying to distinguish reality from dreams. I had been having a horrible nightmare, but the thing was... I couldn't remember what it had been about. It had just been scary. Really, _really _scary, "dammit," I muttered as I–with much force–pulled myself out of bed and into the kitchen where Drew was drinking orange juice and doing a crossword.

"I hate that damn alarm clock," I mumbled, ambulating sleepily over to the mini-frig. I wrenched it open and grabbed the orange juice jug, shaking it forcefully.

"You mean an alarm clock actually got you up?" he said in a mock-shocked tone. "I'll be sure to pack that up."

I rolled my eyes, smiling, "not funny. I get up."

"Haley, you wouldn't wake up if a _natural disaster _were to rip the house to shreds. You are the deepest sleeper I think I've ever known.

I laughed, pouring myself a glass, and then taking a seat across from Drew, "your so mean to me. I don't know why I put up with you."

"Simple," he said, lifting his gaze up from the paper for a second, and then dropping it back down, "you love me."

"Ah... that's it. But if not for that teensy, tiny, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny little fact, I would be _so _gone."

"And your income would come from where?"

"Wal-Mart. I would get a job at Wal-Mart," I nodded matter-of-fact-ly. Drew just laughed. I drained the rest of my orange juice and jumped up, stretching and yawning dramatically.

"Dammit, Haley, you sound like a damn cow," I laughed, tousling his hair, and then threw my glass in the sink.

"I'll be getting dressed if you need me. Ta-ta for now," I laughed, going back to my room to get dressed.

I went with the sarcastic look today. Well... I don't know if you would call it 'sarcastic' but, anyway. No. Definitely not sarcastic. That sounded stupid. Calling my ensemble 'sarcastic.' I was losing it. I put on a pair of shorts, a tee that displayed a quote from Napoleon Dynamite as well as a picture of the sexy guy, Napoleon, himself–I laughed at myself for thinking this–a pair of grey new balances with baby blue shoe-strings to match the shirt, and I straightened my hair, putting half of it back in a barrette. I finished off my look with blue eye-shadow, blue eyeliner, and blue mascara. I didn't think I could've taken blue lipstick, though, so I left that out.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed into the kitchen where Drew was waiting with his laptop case and a cup of cereal. Not a bowl, a cup. Like a drinking cup, but it was filled with cereal. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. "Your crazy, you know that? Dude, your supposed to eat cereal in a _bowl_."

"Ah," he shook his head, "bowls are for people with time on their hands. I'm a drink-the-cereal-on-the-run guy. I like my cereal dranken, not eaten."

"Dranken is not a word, genius," I busted out laughing. "Dad! Your supposed to be a _nerd! _Nerds are supposedly way smart! I _cheat _off nerds!"

"Haley Elizabeth James, how _dare _you cheat off nerds?" he exclaimed. "Not all nerds are smart. You of all people should know that. Cheat off the high kids, Haley. It's the_ high kids _that do the best on tests. Have I not taught you _anything_?"

I rolled my eyes, "let's go, Wilson, before I have to kick your ass."

"Haley!" Drew hissed.

"Let's go," I ignored him, opening the door and walking through it, but when I got outside I stopped dead in my tracks. Sitting in front of me was a black 2005 Ford Mustang. I gasped, taking a step back and running right into Drew.

"Woah, woah, woah. What do you think your doing?" he laughed.

"What is that?"

"Oh..." he chuckled, "you like-y?"

"I love-y."

"You love... even better. Well, this, my dear girl, is your new ride. No way am I going to be carting you everywhere you wanna go. I've got things to do, other nerds to see, houses to move into..." he felt around in his pockets and brought out a set of keys hanging from a Napoleon Dynamite key-chain.

I squealed, jumping up and down, "no way!"

"Yes way," he laughed.

"It's so purty!"

"It's even 'purtier' inside."

"What do you mean?" I asked, laughing.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Lime green. Duh," I rolled my eyes. "You knew that."

Drew nodded, "I did."

"Then why ask?"

"Just to make sure?"

"Why?" I raised my eyebrow and stared at Drew.

"Well, when I was getting the _neon under glow _lights installed underneath the car, I tried to remember what color you might like and... when I was getting the custom Napoleon Dynamite, lime green seats, I thought you liked that color. And then the lime green headlights..."

"No _f-in_ way!" I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck.

"I figured you'd like spinners, so I got those, too."

"Shut the f up!"

"Stop saying _f_ like that," he laughed. "Now go. Your going to be late."

"Dad! Your awesome! I love you so so so so so _so _MUCH! You don't _even _know. This is totally _sweet_. It's flippin' awesome."

"I'm glad to know. Listen, I gotta run. get to school, Hales. Oh! And I'll send you a text giving you the address to the place, ok?"

"Ok," I nodded, not able to take my eyes off of the gleaming car.

"Bye, baby. I hope you like it. Love you"

I snapped out of my elated state of happiness and looked at Drew. A pleased smile was plastered across his face, "I love you, too, Dad," I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"Just call it an early birthday present, ok."

"My birthday isn't until September."

"I know," he nodded, "but you needed a car now. Why wait? Besides, I can't take you everywhere you want to go. I have things to do," he joked.

"Thank you, Dad."

"Anytime, babe. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I leaned in to hug him. "So much."

"Me, too," he pulled away and looked at me, "have fun. I've got to get to work."

"Thank you," I called again, my happiness surging back to me as I beamed at my new car. I looked at my key chain and then up into the sky. "thank you," I repeated, this time softer... up at the sky. "I just wish you were here with me," I sighed.


	8. Our Song

1Thank you guys for holding on, and I promise that NALEY IS ON ITS WAY! lol. I know you guys are getting really restless with these crappy chappies, and I promise that I'm SOOOO just leading up to the Naleyness to begin. I just hope once I get there I can deliver. :D. Thanks for all the reviews!

xXSherryXx, keep the updating up! You are TOTALLY NOT annoying and I love reading your awesome reviews EVERY CHAPTER! You're totally awesome!

treehillgirl323, I am the BIGGEST fan of Napoleon Dynamite. He's my hero. Seriously! Gosh, I love that friggin movie! It is awesome, and for those of you that haven't seen it, GO OUT AND GET IT! It is an awesome movie. So freaking great! Lol. I am also glad you're clear on the Nate/Haley living situation!

chapter 8 - "Our Song"

I pulled into the parking lot, noticing the people in front of the school dispersing into the building. The bell must have recently rung. I put the car in park, unbuckled my seat belt, turned off the car, grabbed my book bag, grabbed the keys, got out of the car, and turned around just in time to jump back from having a little, silver Beetle bug car almost run over me. "What the fuck," I said, breathless.

"Haley? You ok?" Lucas got out of the passenger seat, a look of concern on his face.

I let out a squeaky, rusty laugh, "uh... you mean besides the fact that I almost got run _over_, I think I'm doing relatively fine.

"Sorry about that," Brooke–who had gotten out and was standing next to Lucas–said breezily, "but you ran out in front of _me_, Girly."

"Yeah, whatever. I had my car door open. Did you miss that?"

"No, I saw it. I'm due for another car anyway and wrecking this piece of shit. I was hoping you wouldn't have closed your door so fast."

"So you did that on _purpose_?" I said. I was pissed. How in the world can you do that and get away with it? Then I answered my own question: rich parents.

"Uh... I just said that didn't I?"

"Next time, watch my car, Bitch," I said, my eyes narrowed.

"Watch who your calling a bitch, Whore."

"Oh. Damn. That hurts," I said sarcastically, shaking my head.

"It should, you piece of trailer park trash _skank_. And you can stay away from Lucas while your at it."

"Who says Lucas'll stay away from me," I said with a sly smirk on my face.

Brooke scowled and then lifted up the middle finger of her small, left hand, "fuck you, bitch."

"That's what your boyfriend's gonna do later," I smirked, "so, Lucas, same time at your mom's café?" I lifted my eyebrows.

"Hal–. Bro–."

"Save it, Bro Ho. You probably _are _fucking this little slut. Well, when she kicks your ass to the curb, don't come looking for _me."_

"Brooke, it's not _like _that!" Lucas threw up his hands, watching her walk away, "Brooke!" he called one last time. She turned around–still walking backwards–as she flipped _him _off this time.

"Well, _that's _original," I laughed, rolling my eyes, and grabbing my backpack off the ground.

"What is your fucking problem?" Lucas turned towards me, a cold look on his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stopping laughing immediately.

"There is _nothing _going on between us. Why did you tell Brooke there was? You know, whether or not you like her, she's my girlfriend, and we've been dating a hell of a lot longer than you've been in Tree Hill. Now fuck off, Haley, and next time you want to make somebody feel like shit, get somebody else to play along."

I rolled my eyes, "go on back to your cheerleader, Lucas."

"Gladly," he shot back.

I watched as he crossed the parking lot and then entered the building before I sagged to my car and threw my face on the hood, cursing myself. "Dammit, Haley. You've been in Tree Hill, North Carolina two days and already you're being the biggest bitch on campus."

"Who are you talking to?" I whirled around at the voice, not expecting him to be standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, baffled. "What are you–"

but before I could get out anymore, he had leaned in and was kissing me. I can't say I tried to resist, because I was definitely into that kiss as much as he was, but I just felt so... "I'm here to see you. I couldn't stand not being around you."

"Oh, really?" I raised my eyebrows. "Bram, what the hell are you doing here telling me that bullshit?"

"I'm here to see you," he said again, soothing back my straight hair. "Apparently, you've been gone a whole total of two days and already your fucking one of the guys, I hear. Your such a little slut," he joked.

"Bram, shut your shit up," I rolled my eyes, "no, I'm _not_. His girlfriend just took it the wrong way's all."

"Oh really?" he raised his eyebrows, copying what I had down a second ago.

I playfully hit him in the chest, "really."

"Well, in that case, I guess we're still good," he leaned in to kiss me again, but I pulled away.

"No, we're not. I'm not going to on-and-off you anymore."

"On-and-off me?" he asked, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face.

"Dating, you ass. Your mind is so in the gutter all the freaking time."

"That's where you like it, though, Haley. In the gutter... so. I like your new car. You know, there hasn't been a place we haven't done it yet... well, except for this car," he said provocatively.

"No way I'm going to do it in the back of my car, asshole. Those days are totally over," I laughed as the bell rang. "Shit. And I'm late."

"I thought those days were over?"

I sighed, "I thought they were. Listen, I gotta go."

"What about me?"

"Drive back. It's only a couple of hours."

"Six, Haley. It's _six _hours back to Charlotte."

"Then you didn't come here just for me, Bram."

"Tyler was having a party, too. I might have planned on doing that, too."

"Right," I sighed, looking away, "of course you did."

I trudged to the office to get a tardy slip, thinking about Bram and how stupid I'd been to actually move in with that bastard. But, then again, I was probably the most stupid girl on the planet for even going _out _with him, "Haley," my whole body tensed as I turned to face Nathan. He was looking down at his hands as he kneaded them, "can we talk?"

Lucas, Bram, and Nathan all in one day? I couldn't handle it, "I think we've spoken to each other before, Nathan," I said in a crisp voice, "there is nothing you can say or do that would change my opinion of you."

"I don't want to change your opinion of me, I just want to talk to you."

"About what? The weather? No thanks."

"You know, three days ago I felt like I was walking through hell on earth. And then when you showed up, I... well, let's just say it was probably the second biggest shock in my life. And then I saw something in your eyes when you looked at me. I saw... I saw hatred, I saw hurt, I saw pity, I saw... I saw every emotion in your face except one of a girl that was happy. Behind that stupid facade, I could see what you were really feeling. And then I decided to run after you. I really don't know why, but I did. And then when I started talking to you... it was..." he trailed off for a second, "I was talking to my dad while I was riding through the deserted streets in a part of Charlotte. He was yelling and cussing me about how pitiful I'd played today and I was so pissed at him and so angry at myself for not doing better, that I was acting stupid and I ran ever single stop sign I saw... and then it happened. The impact of the two cars sent my Escalade spinning over into a ditch, and her little Ford Escort flying into a light pole,"Tears formed in my eyes as I stood there, listening to his recollection of the events of that night I was trying to forget, "when I came to, I ran out of the car, realizing what had happened, and to your mom's car. There was nothing I could do. The pole was trapping her and I couldn't, even though with all my strength, have pulled her out of there. But she said something, but I could never get close enough to tell any of you this and I wanted to tell you especially, but..."

"What did she say?" I asked in a low voice, looking at him, watching his every move, waiting hungrily for an answer.

"She said: 'Tell Haley that not everything is gonna be the way you think it outta be. Sometimes it seems like every time you try to make it right it all comes down on you. But please say honestly you won't give up on me. I shall believe. Believe. Tell them all I love them. Tell them to believe it's gonna be ok."

uncontrollable tears fell down my face as I stood there, feeling Nathan's strong arms encircle me as I lay my head down on his chest, "it was our song," I explained. "It was her favorite song. She used to listen to it and sing it everyday, especially when she was having a really bad day and things were going terrible, and it would make her happy. She would be happy."

"it's a song?"

"Yes," I nodded my head, "Sheryl Crow, 'I Shall Believe.' it's our song. It _was _our song. It was like the song was written for her."

"Here, come on," Nathan said quietly, leading me down the hallway, into the parking lot, into his truck, and away from the school.


	9. Talking

1Chapter 9 - "Talking"

"So you play basketball, but you hate it?" I asked, putting together the past five minutes of conversation in one sentence, "but you are, like, awesome. I don't get it."

Nathan nodded and took a sip of his Bacardi Silver, "my dad is this huge hard-ass and he's been on my case every single day about basketball. It's like... since he couldn't–or _didn't_–go anywhere with his basketball talent, he thinks that I _should_. It's like I'm living the life he should've lived."

"Wow, that's tough," I took a sip of my own Bacardi, "so your dad... what does he do?"

"He has a car dealership."

"Ah," I nodded, "a salesman. That sucks. Your dad was really good at basketball?"

he nodded, "yeah. He was going to go all-pro, but he busted his knee."

"Man, that sucks."

"Sometimes I wish I'd bust my knee."

"Nathan, no," I shook my head. "You don't want that. That would be totally awful. Come on, don't say that."

"You have no clue," he shook his head, "and now with Lucas coming to live with us, it's been this hectic whirlwind of fighting and screaming... I think it drives my dad even madder when he sees that Lucas and I have this kind of brotherly bonding thing going on."

"So you guys are pretty tight?"

"You could call it that. I mean, at first the guys and I used to haze him a lot, but then... I don't know... we kind of both silently rebelled against Dan and formed an alliance of sorts. Then, when he came to live with us... well... we grew tighter and wanted to take Dan out more. Especially after Luke's accident."

"Yeah, he told me about that," I nodded, looking away. "Keith sounds like a great guy. I wish Karen wouldn't have..." I cleared my throat, "though I understand where she's coming from, I guess."

Nathan nodded, looking at me. I could feel his prying eyes, but I continued staring at the sand, "Keith had such a rough time and when Karen brushed him off, he just gave up in defeat. He still keeps in touch, for Lucas, but other than that, he's kept his distance. You know, Keith made that one mistake and it ruined him. He went through torture seeing the woman he loved treating him like some kind of a monster, and that ate him up inside."

"I wish things were different," I sighed, finally looking up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I wish that... that things would have worked out between Karen and Keith. If he would have left five minutes earlier, or five minutes later, that would have never happened and he would most likely be hooking up with Karen right now. What if it would have been Lucas driving. What if–."

"You can't go your whole life wondering what if, Haley. You're going to drive yourself mad with the what if's. Oh, mind you I've had plenty of 'what if's.' What if I would have left fives minutes earlier, or five minutes later, or what if I would have taken the shorter way instead of the longer way. What if... but those what ifs didn't take away what is."

"Nathan, I don't want to forgive you." I looked up into his eyes. He held my gaze, not saying anything. "You know... if we hadn't moved here, I would still be hating you with such a passion and... but..."

"Haley," Nathan reached forward and grabbed my hand, sliding over towards me, "I've done so many terrible things in my life, and that has to be the very worst. It can't get any worse than that, but, please... please know that I never meant to hurt her, or you... or your family."

"I know that, Nathan," I said in a low voice, watching him as he laced our fingers, "I know that," I repeated as I watched Nathan's head leaning forward, until finally our lips found each other. His lips were sweet, soft... they sent goose bumps up and down my arms and legs as I succumbed to his kiss, letting myself get lost in it.

"Well, well, well. What is this?" a loud voice boomed from behind us. We broke apart and I fell backwards into the sand, looking up to see a tall man looming over us. "Nathan, what the hell are you doing out of school? And you..." he turned to me, sneering. "Who are _you_?"

"Haley James," I said in a small voice, feeling like a small girl.

The man's whole body tensed up as his cold, inquiring eyes glazed over with an emotion much like shock, "Dad, we were–," Nathan started, but was stopped by a hard glance from the older man.

He let out a booming laugh as he jeered at both of us, "you were about to fuck the same girl whose mother you recently _killed_, Nathan."

Nathan jumped up, startling me at his swiftness, "you shut the fuck up, Dad," he said harshly, throwing his finger in the man's face. "You have no fucking clue what you're talking about."

"Oh, so the judges didn't acquit you of manslaughter in the third degree? And, I guess I don't recall the names correctly, either, do I? Because I was sure that Sarah James Wilson was the victim in a horrendous car crash, survived by her husband, Drew Wilson, sons Hayden and Holden James, and _only daughter_, Haley James," he said in a matter-of-fact, overbearing voice. He knew what he was doing, "and here you are, Son. You are making out with Mrs. Wilson's _only daughter_. Does she know who you really are?"

"I know who Nathan _isn't_," I stood up.

"Oh. That's sweet," Dan laughed. "That's very nice that you're coming to the defense of your little boyfriend, sweetie, but what do you call coming to the defense of your mother's murderer?"

"Listen, asshole. My mother was probably the kindest, most forgiving person I've ever known. She would give _anyone _a second chance if she could. I am not going to sit back and judge Nathan as an atrocious murderer when I'm finally realizing the truth."

"And the truth is?"

"That he has learned more from making one awful mistake than you've probably learned in your whole lifetime."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes," I said confidently.

"Well, then I'm sure that your father will be oh-so-happy to know that his daughter has chosen my son–of all people–to make out with–alone, on an empty beach, at my empty beach house. I'm sure he'll just love that."

"You don't _know _my father," I spat, my eyes slit.

"Oh really? Well, I was talking to our new neighbor today, and I'm sure he is very protective of his little girl. This would probably cause him to be bothered a little, don't you think?"

"Our new neighbor?" Nathan spoke up, his face wrinkled in confusion.

"Oh yes," Dan smirked, "seems like your little girlfriend over there has moved in to the house upon the hill. The one located straight across from ours, Nathan. You know."

I stood there, in total shock, as Nathan gaped and Dan had an evil smirk on his face, "I..." I started, but trailed off.

"Can't find a smart ass comment to make now, can you? Get in the car, both of you. I'm taking you both home, and then we can have a long talk with Drew Wilson about this."

"Piss off," I rolled my eyes, throwing my hands up and backing away as the man took a step forward. "There is no way I'm going to go anywhere with you."

Dan's eyes slit as he glared at me, "listen, Missy, you are going to walk up these damn steps and go get in the backseat of my Expedition."

"Like hell."

"Haley," Nathan said, his head lowered, "just do it."

"Nathan, I... I can't believe..."

"He knows your dad, Haley. Don't make it worse," he said through clenched teeth.

"That's right," Dan nodded. "Listen to my son."

"And you shut the hell up calling me _your son_," Nathan said with cold, hard eyes. "You have no right to call me that. Or Lucas for that matter."

Dan let out a haughty laugh, "I've spent hours upon hours working in order for you to have the things you have, Nathan. If it weren't for me, you would be in _prison _now. If it weren't for me–."

"Shut the fuck up, Dad. You know, I can make it on my own. I don't have to have you breathing down my neck about how much you save my ass all the time, because you _don't_."

"Oh, and I suppose you're going to move out?" he chuckled, his hand on his hip as he leaned forward, laughing so hard.

"Yeah, I am," Nathan said in a serious voice. "I can do it."

"Nathan, seriously," Dan straightened, his chuckling subsiding, "get in the car and let's settle this at home. You're talking ludicrously."

"No. I'm finished with you, and with all of your bullshit, Dad. You can write me the hell out of your life."

"You can't do that, Nathan," Dan said, his whole body tensed. "You can't move out on your own at 17."

"Yes, he can," I spoke up for Nathan's silence. "By law, he can. If he takes this to a court, he could get emancipation from his legal guardians: you."

"You shut up," Dan snapped. "I wasn't talking to you."

"No, she's right," Nathan said. "We were talking about this in government one day. That's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna get emancipation from you and mom."

"How are the judges ever going to side with _you_?"

"I could be a witness," I spoke up again. "I mean, if I tell how much of a bastard you are and–."

"How much you and mom fight at home, the whole deal with Luke, you framing Karen in order for Lucas to come live with you," Nathan took over. He turned towards me, an air of acquired confidence. "I could do this."

"No, you can't, Nate," Dan said, his confidence having taken a massive blow as Nathan talked like he was serious.

"Come on, Haley," Nathan grabbed my hand and started walking forward. He shoved past Dan as we started back towards Nathan's truck.

"This won't ever work, Nathan," Dan called out behind us as we both got in his truck and sped away.


End file.
